Chapter Sixteen

*****

Chapter Sixteen

*****

Revaramek hurtled towards the ground. Wind swept across every inch of his body, flowing over his scales, caressing his wing membranes. The exhilaration of the dive left his sturdy heart hammering in his chest, and his fire glands tingling. He kept all four limbs tucked, his belly twisting in excitement.

From above, the forest looked like nothing more than an immense patchwork quilt woven of every shade of green imaginable. It reminded him of the soft blankets one of his maiden friends used to bring on her visits, all cobbled together from patches of different color and hues. As he drew nearer the earth, the green quilt gradually resolved itself into individual colors and trees. A blue-green fir, a pale green willow, a dark green oak, and flashes of brown where gnarled cypress roots tangled and fought with one another.

It would have been a beautiful dive if not for Mirelle screaming the whole way down.

At least he’d started his descent well away from the road. He hadn’t wanted the urd’thin to hear his wings whistling through the wind. With any luck, even an urd’thin’s oversized ears wouldn’t be enough to detect Mirelle’s ear-drum piercing shriek at such a distance.

Only when he leveled out above the tree tops did Mirelle’s scream finally end. The girl took a loud, wheezing breath, and then made a far more disconcerting noise.

“HRRRRK!”

“Mirelle, is that your vomit noise?”

“HHRRRNNG!”

“That had better not be your vomit noise!” Oh, Gods, he did not want vomit all over his scales.

“HHRRRNNNGRRRR!”

“Hold it together, Mirelle! If you vomit on me, it’s going to set me to upending my belly!”

“Ooohhhnn…”

“That’s better! Now, we’re approaching the road! Keep quiet and hold on!”

Just ahead of him, hazy black smoke rose above the trees. With any luck, his targets would still be fixated on their loot and out in the open. He extended his forelegs, claw tips out. As soon as he passed the tree line, he dipped a wing, and spun to align himself with the road. He heard screams and shouts, but paid them little heed as he sought his target. He saw three male humans in dirty clothes. All three of them ran in different directions when they saw him. Further down the street was the urd’thin, a shorter creature with brown fur, big ears, small horns, and patchwork leather armor.

The urd’thin broke and ran for the forest, drawing a short sword from his belt. With a single, powerful stroke of his wings Revaramek crossed the distance in an instant. He lashed out with his forelegs and snatched the little creature up under his arms. The urd’thin yowled and his sword toppled to the street. Another beat of his wings, and Revaramek hauled him up over the tree tops.

“I got him, Mirelle, I got him!” Revaramek laughed, tightening his grip as the little bastard wriggled. “Mirelle?”

Revaramek glanced back just in time to see Mirelle lean as far over his side as the safety straps would allow, and vomit.

“BLLRRRHHHHHR!”

“Oh, Mirelle, really!” The dragon beat his wings a few times. “You’re going to get it on the urd’thin!”

“Let go of me, ya big lizard!” The urd’thin wriggled again. “Or I’ll knife ya in the gizzard!”

Revaramek flicked an ear. “What was that?”

“Uurrg…” Mirelle groaned, leaning against dragon. “S…sorry…”

“I said let go of me!” The urd’thin kicked his legs. “I’m innocent, see?”

The dragon narrowed his eyes. “That wasn’t what you said! And I’m not sure but…”

“Just let go of me!”

Revaramek beat his wings, ascending swiftly.

“Not so high, I’m gonna pee!”

“Oh, God.” Revaramek shook the little bandit. “Mirelle, he rhymes!”

“And commits no crimes!” The urd’thin grabbed at Revaramek’s paw.

“Oh no, you stop that-”

“I just took back what’s mine!”

“I said stop it!” The dragon shook him, hissing. “Mine and crimes don’t even rhyme!” Revaramek snapped his teeth, snarling. “Oh Gods, it’s contagious!”

Mirelle wobbled on the dragon’s back. “Ask him why he’s been doing it!”

“Why do you keep rhyming?” He curled his neck to glare under himself at the urd’thin.

“It’s probably a defense mechanism!”

Revaramek blinked, a smirk curling across his muzzle. “Hah, rhyme that!”

“Or maybe I’ve a mental schism!”

“Damn!”

Mirelle thumped the back of his neck. “Not the rhymes! Ask him why…urrr…oh, you had to dive...”

“Why would I ask him why I had to dive?” Revaramek glanced back at Mirelle. She was hunched over, covering her mouth with a hand. “You’ve gone all funny colored.”

“Ask him why he’s doing…bandit things!” Mirelle squeezed her eyes shut.

“Why are you doing bandit things?”

The urd’thin thrust a hand in the air. “So we can live like kings!”

“Oh no you don’t. You don’t get to rhyme with me, you little runt. You keep that up and I’m going to drop you! Now, answer her question! Why are you stealing and burning things?”

“They took our land!” The urd’thin gnashed his teeth. “So we bite the thieving hand!”

“That’s it! I’m dropping him.” He let go with one paw, and the urd’thin squealed.

“Don’t let him go!” Mirelle patted his neck. “At least not until we get to the village.”

“Fine.” Revaramek snorted, grumbling. “I never get to drop anyone to their death.”

“Did you say your name is Jeff?”

“Oh, now you’re just being stupid!” Revaramek grit his teeth. He hoisted the Urd’thin up with one paw, grabbed his foot with the other, and turned the little robber upside down, then let him hang by his feet. “There! That’s what you get for rhyming!”

“Aaaaahh! We’re so high, turn me over, I’m gonna cry!”

“Idiot.”

Revaramek scanned the ground stretching out beneath them until he found the road they’d been tracking earlier. He followed it with his eyes as far as he could see. In the far distance, the unnaturally sharp outline of buildings stood out against the thick forest. A faint, gray haze drifted above the silhouettes. Another blue and gold bridge spanned a wide river that ran near the village.

“Mirelle! Look down the road! There’s a town down the way, is that where you wished us to go?”

“I…I can’t really tell from up here, but I think so!”

“Well it better be, because it’s where we’re going now. I can’t tolerate this rhyming rodent any longer.”

“So far off the ground! Please, put me down!”

The dragon snarled, and shook the urd’thin by his ankles. “That’s not even a proper rhyme, you little mongrel!”

Revaramek pinned his ears back, trying to drown out his obnoxious captive. At least they were almost there. He’d almost rather dive straight into the ground than listen to any more poorly-constructed limericks. Each time the little dog-faced mutt-rat started to speak again, Revaramek shook the words right out of his mouth until finally he shut up.

Not that he had a problem with urd’thin, exactly. Just that they used to steal some of his books and things the maidens brought him. It seemed odd to him that urd’thin would fancy books, and yet there was one in particular who he’d known who loved them. Or was that a story he heard about an urd’thin?

The dragon’s vision swam, and he snarled. There was that feeling again. Like déjà vu, and something crawling around on his brain. And was that scorched parchment he smelled? Revaramek clacked his teeth. He hoped he hadn’t picked up a brain parasite from the marsh. That would be a very un-resplendent way for a dragon to die.

Whatever the case, Revaramek assured himself he wasn’t biased against the urd’thin. Some of them could be quite helpful. There was even a time he was going to invite them to build their own little settlement in his marsh, along with the Va’chaak and some of the other peoples of the wilds. At least they didn’t seem as though they’d been totally cast aside by the march of human conquest. Mirelle’s friend Tavaat had clearly found a place for himself amongst the village, and it sounded as if Mirelle had urd’thin customers, too. Now if he could just get Mirelle to treat dragons as respectfully as she treated the other peoples of the marsh.

His captive twisted against his grasp, and he shook the little runt till he squealed. Revaramek might tell himself he didn’t have a problem with urd’thin, but he damn sure had a problem with rhymers. Bunch of fairy-tale sounding nonsense. Even when he’d been younger and the maidens read him tales to keep him company when they’d visit, he never liked the ones filled with flowery words and gobbledygook. Of course, he also didn’t like the ones all about killing dragons, so the visiting maidens had to re-word some of their heroic tales.

Revaramek gazed around as they approached the village. Thick, marshy forest surrounded much of it, while a dark, lazy river lapped up against one side of the town. Beyond the village, grassy hills rose above the trees. Terraced farms made them look like sets of giant stairs leading to the sky. Livestock dotted some of the hillsides. Long lines of rice tended by peasants grew in paddies among the lower wetlands. A few delicious-looking gray oxen pulled plows through earth and sloshed through water. Wooden boardwalks crossed low swaths of marshland. Houses and outbuildings sat atop hills or stood perched on stilts. The road he tracked followed the lay of drier ground, with sturdy bridges spanning swampy sections of fen.

A few travelers walked the road beneath them in both directions. A glimpse of vibrant color drew the dragon’s attention. He craned his neck, glancing beneath himself. Among the handful of scattered traders and merchants using the road just outside the village was a more interesting group. Six va’chaak adorned with bones and totems followed an urd’thin in a purple cloak. With the way the urd’thin was waving his gray furred hands around, it looked as if he was conducting some kind of sing-along.

“Mirelle! I think there’s a traveling bard!” He glanced back at her, perking his ears. “Can we go and listen?”

Mirelle leaned forward, her face still drawn from the flight. How she couldn’t find enjoyment in one of life’s greatest acts, he’d never know. “You actually want to hear someone sing?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He cocked his head, snorting. “Unless he’s terrible. Then I’d just insult him and leave. Besides, I’ve never seen an urd’thin bard.”

“Neither have I.” Mirelle patted his shoulder between the safety straps. When she wasn’t yelling at him, her touch was pleasant. “Though I have seen urd’thin play music on instruments and drums in the tavern. But we have things to do. Let’s drop this little arsonist off in town, and find out what he knows. With any luck, we’ll get learn where the bandits’ hideout is, and in the morning you can go raid it. I also need to talk to any refugees who may be here. And who knows, if that bard’s coming to the village, maybe we’ll stay at the same inn he is.”

“Oooh, we’re staying at inn?” Revaramek grinned and pumped his wings. “I’ve never stayed at an inn before!”

“Actually, you’ll probably have to sleep out back, by the stables. Not every inn and pub is as big as mine.”

“I never get to stay in places. Or watch bards. Or do things.” Revaramek hissed, flicking his tail in the air.

“You’re doing something now!”

 Revaramek snorted, shaking his head. “Carrying a rhyming rodent to his incarceration is hardly an exciting adventure. I thought I’d at least get to incinerate a few bandits or something.”

“You will! It’s not as if he’s the only member of his gang.” Mirelle stroked the back of his neck. “We don’t even know for sure if he’s the leader. Why, he might just be the one who puts things to the torch after they’ve finished their looting spree. You might yet have an…” She fiddled with her straps. “Exciting showdown with a bandit king!”

“Well…” Revaramek lifted his spines, trying not to smile. “That sounds like it could be fun. I’ve never had an exciting showdown, before.” Then he bared his fangs. She was trying to trick him into having a good time. And she was trying to make him forget he wasn’t supposed to be enjoying himself. And that he wanted to see that singing urd’thin bard. And that he wanted to try sleeping indoors. Well, he’d show her. “You shall still have to find an inn that will fit me! Or…at least…make that bard come entertain me. Or leave the door open so that I can watch.”

“Any other requests, overlord?”

“Yes. I want ale. Lots of it. And unless you want me to hunt their oxen, I shall require you to buy me an extensive dinner. And it wouldn’t hurt to hire me some maidens-”

“I am NOT hiring prostitutes!” Mirelle’s gentle touch turned to a succession of sharp swats. “I’ll buy your food if I must, but I’m not about to fund your trip to the brothel!”

Revaramek perked his ears. “They have one of those here?”

“Well…I don’t…it doesn’t matter, I’m not paying for such things!”

“That wasn’t what I meant, anyway.” Revaramek flattened his ear frills back beneath his horns. “I was just going to suggest you could hire them to tell me a story or drink with me! I don’t have your friends here to keep me company tonight, and I rather doubt you’d want to spend the evening at my side.”

“Oh…well…if…it’s just company you want, I suppose-”

“But if they do have a brothel…” Revaramek cocked his head. “What part of the village would that be located in?”

“None of your damn business!”

“So you’re saying I can’t go?” Revaramek shifted his wings, descending towards the village.

“I’m saying I’m not telling you where it is!” Mirelle tightened her safety straps.

Revaramek grinned. Oooh, this was fun. “What if I find it myself?” 

“I don’t think the village would like to hear the local dragon asking around for the brothel!”

“What if I just stumble upon it?” Revaramek’s smile grew, his spines lifting a little.

“I don’t think the whores would appreciate the damn request!”

Oooh, now she was getting angry. “You’d be surprised what the maidens like, Mirelle.”

“Oh, those sort of women aren’t maidens, Dragon. And they’re not free, anyway.”

“I could barter.”

“Barter.” Mirelle shifted again, tugging at a strap. “Barter with whores. What could you possibly offer…wait, never mind, don’t say it.”

“I could offer to do for them something akin to what they’d do for me!”

Mirelle clapped her hands over her ears. “I said don’t say it.”

“You see, Mirelle, a dragon’s-”

“You’ll lose whatever parts of you they interact with to some festering disease!”

Revaramek blinked, his muzzle scrunched and frills flat. “On second thought, perhaps I won’t look into that option.”

“No, I thought not.” Mirelle sighed, setting her hands against his back. “It’s far too late for today, but could we perhaps make it through tomorrow without some kind of perverted conversation?”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath.” The dragon smirked, then glanced back at her. “Actually, I would hold your breath. If you scream when I come in to land in the village, they’ll get the wrong idea.”

“You can’t just land in the village!”

“Why not?”

Exasperation stretched Mirelle’s voice taut. “Because they’ll get the wrong idea!”

“I just said that!”

Mirelle yanked one of the safety straps as if it were a rein. It slid against his scales, made him itch. “Land on the road outside the village. Then wait for me while I go and talk to them.”

“Oh, balls to that, Mirelle.” Revaramek ignored her twisting and tugging. “There’s guards and things and the last time I landed outside a gate, I had to put someone in a ditch. I’m skipping that step this time.”

Revaramek flattened his ears back to help drown out Mirelle’s screeched arguments. As he descended, he examined the village, looking for a suitable landing spot. A tall palisade surrounded most of the village like a jagged row of spines. Only the main street was cobbled, and it ran parallel to the nearby river. Most of the town’s larger buildings sat on either side of the central thoroughfare, some of them decorated with colorful paint. A structure that looked like a wooden castle was set back from the road, near the center of the village. Past the central street, homes with roofs of thatched reed or grass and sod were strewn along winding lanes. Pens filled with pigs and sheep dotted the muddier areas of the village.

Closer to the river, several docks extended out into the water. Boats were tied to moorings coated in a layer of green algae. Several long nets stretched across sections of the river. A few men were hauling another net up onto the bank. Silvery fish flopped about inside it. Along the river bank, all the buildings stood on stilts with empty spaces beneath them. As Ravaramek swept over the palisade, he saw some of the buildings along the main road were sitting upon sturdy columns as well.

“What’s with the buildings with legs?”

“For floods!” Mirelle pushed herself against his neck, wrapping her arms around him. “Just…land and get it over with!”

“Alright, alright.” Revaramek shifted his grip on the urd’thin. “Hah, I think our guest has lost consciousness!”

“You don’t have to shout…” A meek voice called up to them. “I haven’t…passed out…”

Revaramek grit his teeth, growling. “And here I thought dangling you upside down would shut you the hell up!”

“All the blood’s in my head.” The creature wriggled and groaned. “But…I’m not yet dead!”

“Unfortunately.” Revaramek snapped his jaws. “Now shut up or I won’t find something soft to toss you in.”

Revaramek scanned the ground, delighted to see all the peasants running for shelter. Their terrified screams sent tingles of excitement through his spiny frills and left them standing on it. It was good to inspire a little fear now and then. It was enough to make the dragon wish he was there to burn down their village. It was a shame he was on their side, this time.

“Greetings!” Revaramek called out in his brassiest, most magnificent voice. “I am your benevolent overlord, Revaramek the Resplendent! I bring you a gift of…erm…urd’thin!”

As he swept down the street, he spotted a large cart filled with what looked like sacks of rice. He cocked his foreleg, and tossed the squealing bandit into the cart. The urd’thin hit the bags with a grunting cough, smacked into the side of the wagon and flipped over onto the street.

“That’s why I didn’t want you dropping me!” Mirelle smacked the back of his neck.

“To arms, men, to arms! Surround the dragon!” A burly man with short, dark hair and wearing heavy chain mail ran out into the street. “Spearmen, flank left!”

Well, that sounded almost competent. Better land.

Revaramek beat his wings, ascended, and wheeled about in the sky. He spotted a trio of armored spearmen down an earthen side street. A man with a bow stood on the other side, aiming up at his underbelly. No sense risking an arrow in the hoard, he thought. He beat his wings once more to shoot back down the street, then then backwinged to slow his descent a little. Ignoring Mirelle’s scream, he folded his wings and dropped to the road, trotting to a stop.

“There. Do your thing, Mirelle!”

“MMRRRFFF!” Mirelle yanked her straps away, leapt off the dragon, hunched over and vomited all over the street,

“Again, Mirelle?” The dragon scrunched his muzzle and pushed himself back to his paws, padding away from her. “Aren’t you empty yet?”

“Dragon!” The guard in the chain mail called out, approaching the dragon, a sword in one hand, a black shield emblazoned with a golden fish on the other. “Hold your ground, beast!”

“I’m just trying to get away from Mirelle’s vomit-stench!” Revaramek rattled his spines and cocked his head at the guard’s shield. “Is that your village crest on your shield? You know, fish aren’t very intimidating.”

“HRRRRRLLAAACCCCHH!”

“You see?” Revaramek waved his paw. “Mirelle agrees.” Revaramek glanced around as the spearmen closed in on one side, and an archer took up position behind a food vendor’s stall, down a side street. “Now, unless you want me to toss you all in a ditch like the tea kettle, put your damn weapons away. I may be your overlord, but I do have an agreement with Mirelle’s village.”

“BLLRRAAACCK!”

“Yes, you’re right, my mistake.” He stretched a wing, grinning when the movement sent all three spearmen stumbling back. He flexed the swing, gesturing with the talon at its tip toward Mirelle, who was still bent over, groaning. “Councilwoman Mirelle. Who, despite vomiting all over what seems to be your only real street, has come here on an official capacity. She and I are here to investigate the village-burning bandits. Am I correct so far, Mirelle?”

“HHHRRRRNKKKKK!”

Revaramek tossed his head. “Oh, Mirelle, now you’re just showing off.” The dragon shifted position when a few more guards came into view, each with a sword and shield like their commander’s. “Yes, you’re all very impressive, but if you attack me it’ll be you violating the truce, and then I can’t be held responsible for defending myself.”

The guards all glanced around at each other, and the commander gestured for them to lower their weapons. They did, but each remained at attention, watching the dragon closely. “We’ve no aim to violate the truce, Dragon, but we have to be sure that you’re-”

“Upholding my end of the bargain, yes, I know.” Revaramek snarled, flicking his tail at Mirelle. “She’s doing a fine job of that, I assure you. Now, while she’s vomiting up her spleen, let me show you what I’ve brought you.”

Revaramek padded over to the urd’thin bandit, who lay groaning next to the wagon. The dragon reached down, snatched his dirty clothes in his jaws, and hoisted him up. The creature wriggled a little as Revaramek carried him back towards the guards. He panted a bit, scrabbling at the air.

“Lemme go ya big lizard, or I’ll knife ya-”

Revaramek dropped him onto his face before he could finish. “The gizzard, I remember! What are you, out of rhymes already? And just so you know, dragons don’t have a damn gizzard!” He set his paw against the Urd’thins head, pressing his muzzle against the cobblestone. “So, guards. This little couplet-spewing mongrel is the arsonist responsible for burning the local villages.”

“He…he is?” The guard captain sheathed his sword, and strode forward. “He don’t look like much. Besides, we heard-”

“Of course he doesn’t look like much, he’s an urd’thin.” Revaramek snorted. “He’s probably just their crazy arsonist. But if you ask him nicely, I’m sure he’ll tell you where the rest of them are, so I can go and roast them all for you.” He arched his neck, grinning. “Then your villages will all be safe, your losses will be avenged, and Mirelle can impress her precious council. While I, Revaramek the Resplendent, can return to being your overlord, and you can all return to basking in my…er…resplendence.”

Revaramek turned around and left the urd’thin to the guards. One of them yelled and threw himself to the street to avoid the dragon’s tail. “Oh, um, watch out for my tail.” He walked back down the road a little to where Mirelle had only just gotten back to her feet. She wobbled, panting, then wiped sweat from her forehead. “Feeling better?”

Mirelle shot him a glare, her face flushed from all the vomiting. “I’ve felt worse, anyway. It was that dive that did it!”

“Thought you were done after you hurled over my side.” He lifted his wing, glancing back at his scales. They were still green and shining. “Thankfully, you didn’t get it all over me.” He lowered his wing, peering at Mirelle. “Think you’ve got a bit in your hair, though.”

“Ugh.” Mirelle walked around the side of the dragon. “Hold still.”

“Where are you going?” Revaramek angled his hind end away from her.

“I just need to lean against you a moment.” Mirelle took her pack off and leaned her back up against his shoulder. “Catch my breath.” She pulled out a canteen from her pack, took a drink, and swished the water around before spitting it out. “What did you tell the guards?”

“That we’d caught their arsonist, and once they learned the location of their camp, we’d go eradicate the rest of them.” He curled his neck to stare at her. Her curly black hair now framed her face in a frazzled mess, and beads of sweat clung to her skin. “You look terrible. Are you alright?”

“I will be.” She took another drink. “You’re going to have to learn to fly and descend more smoothly. All those dives and loops and turns are murder on my poor stomach.”

“I didn’t fly any loops.” Revaramek tossed his head, chuckling. “I’ve never flown a loop. That would be impossible. Or…would it? Now I want to try.”

“As clumsy as you are, you’d probably crash into another house and break your damn neck.” Mirelle put the canteen back in her pack.

“I’ve only crashed into one house.” He lifted a forepaw to scratch his chest plates. “It’s not as if it’s a common occurrence. And since you were too busy vomiting to notice, I’m an excellent flier. I’m better in the air than I am on the ground.”

“Only because there’s nothing in the air for you to break.”

“And I’d never hit it if there was. I’m not as good an aerial acrobat as say, a gryphon, but I’d wager I could fly circles around the average dragon.” He smiled up at the sky. “Oh! Or loops! Now that would be impressive. I’m going to have to work on that.”

“Just make sure I’m as far away from you as possible when you-”

The gate in the palisade at the far end of the road blew open so forcefully the noise the noise of clattering wood cut Mirelle off. Revaramek jerked his head up, gazing down the street. An urd’thin with sleek gray fur and clad in a royal purple cloak strode through the gateway. At least half a dozen towering Va’chaak clad in armor made from bones flanked him.

“Oh, Mirelle, look! It’s the bard!”

One of the guards stationed inside the gate trotted up to the group, only for the nearest Va’chaak to grab his face, and shove him hard enough to send him stumbling back and crashing to the street. Mirelle eased away from the dragon’s side. “I…I don’t think that’s a bard…”

The same Va’chaak who’d shoved the guard away gestured his clawed hand in a wide, sweeping gesture. “Presenting Lord Asterbury, your new lord and master!”

Revaramek glanced at Mirelle as the urd’thin strode ahead of everyone. “I think you’re right. A bard wouldn’t do that. Oh! Oh! Maybe he’s a villain! Like from the exciting tales!”

Mirelle wrapped her hand around the hilt of her knife as the guard captain and his spearmen started down the street. “This isn’t the time for story talk, Rev!”

The urd’thin paused, grasped the golden edge of his purple cloak, and then flourished it as he called out. “I am Lord Asterbury, the All Knowing Urd’thin!” Laughing, he spun in a circle on his heel, flourished his cloak again, and strode forward.

“Oh, he’s a flamboyant villain!” Revaramek hopped up and down on his forepaws, clapping them against the cobblestone. “This is so exciting!”

“Revaramek, this isn’t the time! I think he’s-”

“Do you think he’s crazy? Oh, how much fun would it be if he was flamboyant and crazy?”

“And I am here…” Lord Asterbury cast his hands to the sky, crying out. “To take over this wretched story!”

Revaramek bounced on all four paws, cackling. “He is crazy!” Gleeful excitement coursed through the dragon’s veins. His frills tingled and his sharp-edged tail webbing stood at full attention. “This is more than I could have ever hoped for!”

The urd’thin thrust a gray furred finger at the dragon. “Revaramek the Resplendent!”

Revaramek squealed like a hatchling getting a surprise gift. “And he knows my name! Watch this, Mirelle!” Ignoring her protests, Revaramek bound down the street. “I’m going to go play hero!”